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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 14, Episode 8
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the eighth episode of the fourteenth series. Key * HD - Hugh Dennis * EB - Ed Byrne * NC - Nathan Caton * AP - Andy Parsons * SP - Sara Pascoe * EG - Ed Gamble Topics Rejected Exam Questions HD - History: Did I delete it? AP - If cycling 10 miles a day uses up 400 calories, explain why Boris Johnson is still a fat bastard. SP - If the Sun is 93 million miles away, how can that cost £32 in an Uber? AP - Where is Greece? Is it a) the southern Mediterranean, or b) up Shit Creek? EB - What does the French phrase "déjà vu" literally translate out? EG - Using examples of Michelangelo's work, write 500 words on why he was the best turtle. EB - What does the French phrase "déjà vu" literally translate out? HD - Question a) Media studies: is it a real subject? Question b) Is it? NC - Using a compass and ruler, draw perfect cock and balls. SP - Is this a rhetorical question? EG - You may now commence your anal sex exam. Please turn over. AP - Explain how UKIP became a major force in British politics without using the word "wanker". EG - If Jay-Z was unfortunate enough to have a problem with a bitch, how many problems does Jay-Z now have? HD - Aggravated violence question 1: Why might you use a rubber hose pipe? No marks. NC - What colour is this dress? White and gold, or black and blue? Discuss. EB - If a train leaves the station at the correct time, and arrives at its destination at the correct time, how cool would that be? HD - Chemistry: Me and you, is there any? (winks) Unlikely Things To Say When Running For US President SP - I'm Hillary Clinton. And if you elect me, the first female president of the United States, I promise you that on my first date in the White House, I will hire a very attractive male intern, he will be on his knees, not having sexual relations with me all day. #payback #longgame HD - (as Rick Perry) I want to go to Washington. Why? I wanna see what colour the White House is. AP - NO WE CAN'T! NC - The name Clinton is in the DNA of the White House. In fact, the DNA of Clinton on the walls of the White House. EG - I know the value of family because I sold one of my children to pay for this campaign. EB - As president, I will welcome immigrants, cause the White House is massive and it's not gonna clean itself. AP - I will govern for all of this country, not just the metropolitan cities on the coast, but also you cousin shaggers down south. HD - I would like to introduce you to my new homeland security advisor. Say hi, Lamb Chop. "Hi!" NC - Come on, of course I'm the guy who succeed Obama. You know what they say, once you go black... EG - If you elect me as America's first colour blind president, I will do everything I can to uphold the values of the brown, white and green. EB - I would now like to talk to you people, in a language of my own devising. (random noises) Thank you. EG - I want to put more boots on the ground in Afghanistan, and also 2 more branches of Paper Chase. HD - AP - I'd like to apologise to Mr. Trump. Which is what I said when I just farted in bed. SP - When I was little, I did not plan to be President of the United States. This is more like a holding job until I get to rule a good country. EG - I am an American through and through. Cut me, and I will shoot you in the face. HD - I wish to have no secrets in this campaign, I wished to be completely open, and that is done, and that is why I'm going to start again cause I fucked that up. NC - We Republicans want to reach out to all Americans. Blacks, whites, Chinese-looking ones... HD - I want to have no secrets in this campaign, and that is why I have gather you here tonight to tell you, I shot gay f... JFK. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See